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Freaky Intuition 11:40 a.m. 2005-03-14 I just finished eating my Russell Stover chocolate egg with my diet Coke. How counter-productive is that? I will mention however, that I had my fat free cherry yogurt and my mineral bar earlier. It all evens out; I hope. Last night I couldn't get to sleep right away, so I closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else. Has anyone else ever done that? When I do this, I usually am very very faraway. When I am there, it is usually at night or at daybreak, and no one else can see me. Usually I am looking out the window of my mother's home in Vila Nova. I don't know why I always choose to be there, but that is where I was. I was looking out the window, listening to rain, and visualing so that I could almost smell the rain, and the closed house. Sometimes I can actually hear the neighbor women talking on the street below with their bread sacks waiting for the bread man and his van full of papsecos. Tonight I decided to sit outside of my aunt's house, up near the top of the hill. I'm sitting there, and my butt is freezing from sitting on the cold cement. I notice the flowers growing on the side of the house. They are all pink and orange daisies. It is morning, and it is clear but chilly. I hear people walking up the hill, and I do not like what I see. There is a funeral coming up to the cemetary near my aunt's house. I close the visual and try to forget it. Now I'm laying there and I am being bombarded with visions of a cemetary stone. It's shaped like my father's, but it is too dark and you cannot read the writing. I tell myself to stop it, and I cross myself and try to sleep. The baby wakes up, and it's a little past 3am. He wants mama, and his bottle, and I give it to him and watch him go to sleep in our bed. He would much rather sleep with mom and dad than with Winnie the Pooh or Tigger. He falls fast asleep and I wait and take him to his crib. Tigger is waiting and happy to see him. This morning at work, I write a letter to the EX and ask him whether or not he still intends on going to the Azores this summer with the kids. He had mentioned that he may postpone seeing his sick mother and wait until the summer, and take the kids to see her, but that was about a month ago. A half hour rolls by, and suddenly out of the blue I get an IM informing me that his poor sick mother passed away the day before and the funeral was this morning; 10am--3am California time. I'm just feeling a little sad and freaked out right now. I don't like it. I wish I didn't possess this mysterious Portuguese Intuition.
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