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Jillian 10:28 a.m. 2005-09-27 I have given birth to three children, but it could have been four. I miscarried my first child 18 years ago, today-September 27th. He or she would have been 17 years old. I was only a few months along, and I just started to feel the occasional morning sickness. It was my first pregnancy so I didn't know quite what to expect. I was just getting used to the idea of actually being a "mom". The miscarriage was nevertheless quite upsetting, and frightening to say the least. It was years ago, but I still remember it very clearly. I remember the cold emergency room, and the equally cold doctor that told me in a "matter of a factly" tone of voice, "Try again in another month." I also remember the nurse holding a small test tube looking jar, with my "baby" inside. I really don't wish this memory upon anyone. I can still see the sympathetic expression on her face as she looked down at me and hurriedly left the room with the jar in her hands. I sometimes wonder where he/she (baby) could be right now, and why his/her mission in life was "cancelled" when it did. However, I do know what her name would have been. Of course, it could have been a boy, but I have a strong sense she was a she. Jillian would have been her name, that I know for sure. |